A Reflection on Personal Growth

“Growth is the great separator between those who succeed and those who do not. When I see a person beginning to separate themselves from the pack, it’s almost always due to personal growth.” John C. Maxwell

Identifying and developing the traits essential for leadership is needed for me to continue to growth personally and professionally. In sports, scouts will assess the strengths and weaknesses of players and develop reports on their findings. A good coach will then work with you to develop both your strengths and weaknesses to ensure you are in position for success.

screen-shot-2014-04-08-at-2-52-36-pmA similar scouting process is needed for people who want to maximize their potential. Having an awareness of what traits are underdeveloped or missing is essential if you want to maximize your influence with others.

Over the past couple weeks; I have discovered a range of needs that are essential to my overall growth and development.

In examining my personal growth and development, I will focus on three main need-based relationships that I have identified as needs of mine – Confrontation, Advice, and Taking Risks. I hope these revelations help you as much as they have helped me.


Finding someone who is willing to help me by pointing out something I’m doing that is self-destructive so I can stop it before it’s too late. Someone to help me replace those behaviors with nurturing and self-care activities is important.

My wife has been a tremendous source of support for me. Initially, like most men, I didn’t appreciate the value of her confronting me. I saw it as her being critical, rather than her sharing with me information with the intent of helping me grow as a person. I had to learn to trust her intent of the message.

Allowing other people to speak into my life and give me hard truths is not easy, but essential for my growth. Allowing myself to come out of hiding, and being vulnerable with people again will not only be helpful, but also healing. I have already reached out to a friend who is on a similar path as me who is willing to establish a mutual close friendship where we have permission to give each other hard truths to help each other.

The agreement is to listen, and take the learning. We are not to defend or explain ourselves, but just listen and process what is being said. This process is allowing me to open up to people in ways I have never done before.


“Coaches” are needed for everyone, not just athletes (Townsend, J., 2015). Being intentional in establishing coaching relationships with people who can recommend action steps to help me grow in different aspects of my life was lacking. I’ve always valued the role coaches played in my life to help me develop on the field. I now look forward to life-long relationships with coaches who have helped me develop personally, and professionally.

Identifying other successful leaders who have no personal need from me used to be somewhat of a challenge. To many people have been more interested in the allure of the NFL rather than in me as a person.

I’ve had to weed through the crowd to identify a handful of great men who can help me. I have consistent check-in’s with some of the men who have proven over time their genuine interest in seeing me grow.

Taking Risks.

Taking risks is something I never considered before. Finding people to help me start taking one risk each week or doing one new thing is important for me to continue to experience increase in my life.

My drive for growth cannot stop with a hunger for knowledge, but must also extend to discovering new experience to broaden my perspective on life. Branching out and finding something new doesn’t come easy for me. So I have to cover come the self-talk that would talk me out of attempting something new, and reflect on how my life is richer because of my willingness to simply try.

My wife has been a tremendous resource to help me continue to branch out for new tastes, experiences, travel, and more. It has become something that creates a deeper bond between us because we are exploring the world together.

Wrap Up

Being intentional in establishing adulthood is a vital need for my overall growth and development. My wife and friends will play important roles in continuing to confront me, give me advice, and to help me take risks for me to experience increase personally and professionally.


Townsend, J. (2015, August 26-28). Didactics presented at the Personal Development Skills Process Group CN 600I / OL 600 – Four Day Intensive, Huntington University, Huntington, IN.

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